[INFOGRAPHIC & AN ESSAY] 8 Insights I discovered trying to be myself
Updated: 6 days ago
Who am I?
Why am I here?
Why is it so hard?
What does it all mean?
Am I called to do this?
Because I'm not sure anyone chooses this $&%£ing path!
There's this dance that plays out between the two parts of us:
the angelic self (the heart's music)
and the animal self. (the head, the ego)
No doubt, you are well familiar with that dance.
For some of us, (not all but certainly some) that dance between head and heart is a million miles away from anything you'd see on BGT. (Britain's Got Talent).
My dance would have been more on par with my rhino self being matched up with a tree. A tree planted high up in the Rocky Mountains;
It felt absurd.
The impossibility of it made it feel so much more absurd.
I would also add that my Rhino had rabies, was blind in one eye, was terrified of heights and snow and it had a freight train in hot pursuit of it always.
That's what my dance felt like for decades.
That dance made me say the words like:
"I know what I should do, but I just can't do it"
Or another way of saying it is; the passive aggressive (yet totally unconscious) patterns, unhealthy habits, and repeating set backs were killing me; I had to shift them or quite frankly, I wanted to check out.
I persisted with my absurd dance and 20 years later I can look back and hand pick the things I know now, that would have been lovely to have stumbled into age 20-ish.
We shall start with the End-in-Mind applied across the Wheel of Life:
If we begin with the end in mind; then we get to talk about ideal outcomes for our self to experience and participate in, across each area of life.
[SIDE BAR] For the purpose of this conversation, I'm choosing to use the Wheel of Life from Dr. Demartini's teachings. I'm a long-time student of Dr. Demartini - so I'm pulling his version vs. the hundreds out there.
Right... moving on.
You could draw it:
If you were to re-draw this wee diagram in your notebook and inside each section allocate a mark out of 10 to represent your degree of satisfaction today, you could probably work your way around the wheel and allocate numbers from 0 to 10 easily enough.
I'm trusting that you know where you're satisfied and where you're miserable in life. o_0
You could colour it in:
If you were to colour in each of the 7 sections up to the dots that number 10 in that diagram above - your diagram would have a shade up to the first dot for scores of 1 out of 10 satisfied, and shade sections up to the 10th dot for scores of 10 out of 10 satisfied. After shading in all sections you'd have a 50ft view of your Satisfied meter.
And... what? So what?
I have yet another way to reframe my degree of... misery?
Maybe I can prioritise the lowest numbered section on my coloured-in wheel to tackle that area of life with more forced action, that needs me to psyche myself up, or rely on some external motivation in order to do the work that shifts the shit.
And when that external motivation (eventually) falls away a few days later, I will be:
Reading another self-help book
Attending another workshop
Buying into another seminar
Frustrated because I should, could, would, bleurgh.
And when that didn't work, I upped sticks and moved to the Middle East and wandered the desert for 2 years and hung out with some Sufis and Bedouins. #TrueStory
What does it take to truly shift my own bullshit into something that feels healthy and inspired?
Carl Jung suggested that truly shifting an area of life is on par with passing through the eye of a needle, blindfolded, tied between two elephants.
I jest, but only half. He didn't say the blindfolded elephant bit.
At the time - I didn't know the following:
1. I didn't know that the Conscious mind governs 1% to 5% of my day-to-day activities. The rest of the day was conducted on autopilot using one of my unconscious programmes from my unconscious self.
2. I didn't know that the unconscious mind governs 95% of my day-to-day activities using a mix of those unconscious programmes it has on file.
3. I didn't know that anytime I started thinking (I used to think, obsess, analyse, a lot a lot) - my unconscious mind would quickly and quietly kick in one of those pre-made (self -sabotaging) programmes completely oblivious to my Conscious mind.
4. Self Consciousness (Self Awareness and the pursuit of Self Actualisation) is a bolted on option that very few of us seek to turn on never mind develop. I didn't know that!! I assumed everyone had this incessant pulling, calling, drive to know, understand and become our true self. Turns out? That is not the case.
5. I had ZERO idea that you cannot re-programme the unconscious mind by adding knowledge to the conscious mind.
And it just happened to me again only one hour ago.
I'm in quarantine. I am allowed to go out and exercise; I get on my bicycle fully intending to take a new route to the park along the canal that empties into the Irish sea.
I had the thought of cycling along the canal to scope out a kayaking route, I warmed to the idea as I got on my bicycle.
As I cycled out of the driveway, I started thinking about the morning's events, what to do tomorrow and 30 minutes later I stop on the side of the road to reflect on what just happened twigging I've gone the opposite direction of the canal.
I set an intention of taking a new route. I let my conscious mind get busy thinking, so my unconscious mind reached quietly and quickly reached for a bicycle route programme that would take us to the park.
So while I was busy thinking about whatever, my unconscious mind ran my life in that 30-minutes and for the most part, I was oblivious to what was happening. I was too busy thinking.
I'm guessing you have had this experience too,
perhaps in a car?
You get in the car thinking you're going to Jennifer's gaf.
And an hour later you're freaking the eff out because you don't remember anything after pulling out of the driveway.
You were busy thinking - and your unconscious self stuck a programme in to tend to the driving. Hah.
The 8 Insights I discovered transforming my life:
Here - I made you a picture.
Next question usually is:
What are the tools, strategies, and resources we can engage to get on with it?
I'm guessing that if there are 8 billion people on the planet then there are probably 8 billion ways to do that.
I think I've got about 17 ways that I have really valued in assisting me along the way.
I also have a ton of resources in this TABTF blog for you to peruse at leisure. If you are using your business as a vehicle to self actualise, then this TABTF blog is probably worth a visit or five.
Namaste to you and yours
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